What If Herman Munster Played for the Dodgers?

RemingtonIn 1965, the Los Angeles Dodgers boasted a record of 97-65, attracted more than 2.5 million people to Dodger Stadium, and won the World Series against the Minnesota Twins in seven games.

The Dodgers might have gone 162-0, sold out every game at Dodger Stadium, and won the World Series in four games if Herman Munster played on the team.

On April 8, 1965, CBS aired “Herman the Rookie,” an episode of The Munsters, a situation comedy revolving around a family of monsters, including werewolf son Eddie, vampire mother Lily, Frankenstein father Herman, and Herman’s vampire father-in-law Grandpa.  The black sheep of the family was Marilyn, a beautiful blonde who could never have a boyfriend because suitors always got scared of her family, despite their being nice people.  Universal produced The Munsters, so the appearances of the characters reflected the classic monsters of their films.

The Munsters live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights, a section or suburb of Los Angeles.

Herman gets recruited for the Dodgers by Leo Durocher, welcomed back into the Dodger family after defecting to the Giants.  This traitorous act occurred when the Dodgers and the Giants played in Brooklyn and Manhattan, respectively.  Durocher managed the Dodgers in the 1940s, then the Giants in the 1950s.

While talking with reporter Charlie Hodges, Durocher gets knocked on the head by a baseball hit from several blocks away.  He discovers that Herman Munster hit the ball while playing with Eddie.  Eager for a recruit, Durocher arranges for Herman to have a formal tryout with the Dodgers.  Undoubtedly, Herman’s physical strength is the tool that will propel the Dodgers to the National League pennant and a World Series championship.

Herman’s strength proves to be a liability.  When Herman hits a ground ball, the force puts the ball under ground.  When he hits a home run, the ball knocks over the scoreboard.  When he backpedals to catch a fly ball, he goes through the fence.  When he plays second base, a runner gets knocked down, simply by running into Herman.  Durocher says that he doesn’t know whether to sign Herman or send him to Vietnam.

Grandpa, always the opportunist, rejoices at seeing an item in a newspaper about Herman’s potential:  “Lily!  Lily!  Marilyn!  Look!  Look, look, it’s right here in the afternoon paper!  Look at this!  Durocher keeps mystery prospect under wraps!  Tryout reported held today with Herman Munster, said to be the greatest long ball hitter in the history of the game!  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!  Oh boy!  Herman’s got it made!  We’ll all be rich!”

Dreams of playing for the Dodgers get squashed when Herman learns that the Dodgers won’t sign him because of the costs involved.   Dodgers owner Walter O’Malley would have to spend $75,000 after each game to repair Dodger Stadium.

The tag scene for “Herman the Rookie” shows former Los Angeles Rams star and current Rams executive Elroy “Crazylegs” Hirsch discovering a football kicked from several blocks away, definitely farther than the length of a football field.  Hodges advises Hirsch to forget about identifying kicker as a recruit for the Rams.

The Munsters aired for two seasons, from 1964 to 1966.

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